Dirty jokes

[LeeMo]

What’s the first thing a redneck says after losing her virginity? Get off of me Dad, you’re crushing my cigarettes.

That's one of the few that I found here (http://slightlywarped.com/incredibly-offensive-jokes/ ) that I could post.

[LeeMo]

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

[Reeltarded]

the punch goes..

"Oh yeah, your sister has the car."

[TUBEDUDE]

JazzGuitarGimp wrote:
Okay..... I'll contribute. But this is as dirty as I can comfortably get in mixed company.

You mean there are.solid state designers here!

[vibratoking]

OK, I'll play.

Guy just back from having a sex change operation. His friends remark that it must have been painful. He says it was. One asks what the most painful. Was it when they opened up your chest and inserted the breast implants? He says no. Another asks if what was when they cut off your cock and made a vagina? He says no. They're stumped and ask what was it then? He says the most painful part was when they drilled a hole in my skull and sucked half my brains out.

[xtian]

Updated for the election cycle:

How many Republicans does it take to...

Republican: That's not funny.

[eniam rognab]

What does a robot do after a one night stand?
Nuts and bolts

[TUBEDUDE]

What breaks when you give it to a 7 year old.......her hips.

[Reeltarded]

hehe I started at the bottom and there is no way down..

[stretch2011]

Deleted.

[eniam rognab]

*TRIGGERED*

[cbass]

My safe space is being violated. I'm gonna protest

[stretch2011]

Hey, I told you it was the the baddest racial joke I know. You were warned!


Reeltarted: looks like I found the bottom!

[dorrisant]

A harelip man has trouble fining a job. He gets a shot at sales. They send him out with a weeks supply of toothbrushes to sell door to door. Much to the amazement of his boss he comes back in at noon on the first day to get more toothbrushes... he sold all he had.

After selling roughly a week's supply every day of the remaining week, his boss is astounded. He asks if he can meet with him to see how he is selling so many. He meets with the harelip man downtown on a public walkway and watches as he sets up a Chip and Dip stand with a big sign that says "Free Chips and Dip". He puts out two big bowls, one full of corn chips, the other full of dip.

He approaches a man walking down the street. He says (in a harelip accent) "Excuse me sir, would you like to try some of my free chips and dip?"

The man says "Sure, why not?" He grabs one of the chips, dips it and shoves it down his pie hole. A look of concern crosses his face and he gives the harelip man and evil stare. He spits out the contents of his mouth and shouts "That stuff tastes like shit!!"

The harelip man replies "It is... Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"




Now for a riddle... How do we know that toothpaste was invented in Kentucky?

If it were any other state it would be call teethpaste, right?

[eniam rognab]

Did you know that chickens die after having sex?
At least, the one I fucked did...